So in the car the other day, as kim and I headed to jackson, she looked at me and said I don't know what I want to do with my life." To which my response was "welcome to the club!" If you are 20 something (or older) you know the club I'm talking about...
After that what followed was a simple but loaded question...What does it mean to really be an adult? Taking into account I am no expert I cautiously approached the question. I shared with her what I've learned/am still learning... And now with you. Please, bare with me as I process!
Well from what I am learning, being an adult doesn't mean having your life figured out. It doesn't mean having the right job or a family or house or a college degree. Even if those things are obtained, does that necessarily mean that adulthood is obtained with it? As a kid I always thought that I would grow up and go to college and get a great job and build a big fancy house and have everyone I loved live in that house with me and my 4 dogs. Yes, 4 dogs. I imagined lots of land and a pool and a good life. However, I never imagined what it meant to be an adult. I just assumed that it came with the title, that I would grow into it. But truth is, it just doesn't work that way.
Kims response was such a great way to summarize this thought. She said "so it's when paul said when I was a child I thought like a child, I acted like a child but when I became a man I put away childish things." Yes, yes it is just like that. I love how well kim easily brings scripture into perspective. She's a rock star.
As children we live in fantasy. Nothing wrong with that at all, we need it. Children desperately need imagination and adults could use a little more of it. However, there inevitably comes a time where I have to put aside the childish reasoning and desires and begin looking to a new way of logic. I have to mature. We all do, Paul makes that clear in his letter to the Corinthians. But what does it look like to walk that out?
Well I'm still learning, still seeking scripture and guidance. However, based on the conversations I've had with mentors revolved around this very topic there are 2 conclusions I've come to...
My first conclusion is this, life is not a road map and at each check point you get better, finding out the answers to life with each stop as if we are on a perpetual upswing. (We all know life is much more like a pendulum.) The "we get better as time goes on" isn't always what it seems....yes, with age comes experience and perspective and yes, there are good, practical life skills that come out of those experiences but life is a lot messier than that. Growing old doesn't necessarily mean growing up, and it definitely doesn't mean maturing. There is only one place to find the answers to life and to maturation and it reassures us constantly that this world just ain't got it! If I cling to life experiences on earth to navigate me through adulthood and expect it to give me what I need; I, my friends, am in for a rude awakening.
Second, and on an even deeper level, sometimes being an adult means doing whatever is necessary not desireable. In fact Sunday in my financial peace class Dave Ramsey said this, "part of maturing means delaying desire." I'm going to be 100% transparent here. I really struggle with this one. I've had this conversation more times than I care to admit. I've been called out on living frivolously and I've had to really learn how to face things in life that I just didn't want to deal with. My fall in action is running away in fear and ultimately out of selfish preservation. But I can say this with deepest sincerity, delaying the inevitable only causes harm and it is NOT living out authentic adulthood. As a wise woman once told me, there is just something to doing whatever it takes to (insert need here) and you have to be willing to do whatever it takes. I can't speak for you but I can for me and I am so incredibly thankful for mercy, deep abiding mercy in these moments because I really have to expose my depravity when it comes to walking out a Christ centered adulthood. Simply put, I fall short.
See Christ calls us to face the world head on, not to shy away from it but rather to invade the world around us. When paul says to put away the child his following statement is that nothing else will last in this world but faith, hope, and love. The greatest is love. In order for me to love the world around me well I have to set aside my childish desires and frivolous living. I have to learn to walk out taking care of myself so I can play my part in taking care of the body; so we can go together out into the world and be the hands and feet of Christ. I am called to this, I am not asked- I am commanded to go to the world with the gospel. I can't do that if I can't be a good steward of every resource he has given me, especially myself. We live in a cause/effect world and as a christ follower I have a responsibility to it; it simply cannot be ignored or ran from.
Feeling encouraged yet? Neither was Kim. Nor I, when I've had these same conversations. I struggle not to feel condemned by my own sin and not to feel overwhelmed by all the things I "need" to change or do in order to live all this out right. My mind cant help but replay all the ways I do this life all wrong. Well here's where I can be encouraged and where I pray you feel encouraged as well....
I AM INCAPABLE OF DOING ANY OF THIS ON MY OWN AND GOD NEVER ASKED ME TO!!! I CANNOT be better, I can't change my nature, I am unable to mature on my own, I will not love on my own accord, I can not carry the weight of the body of Christ on my shoulders. I can't but He can. He did. He does. He will continue to. While I find it impossible to accomplish just one of those things on my own, Christ has already accomplished them all and so much more! I could sit around feeling sorry and bad about myself because I have come up short, or I can choose to lay it down and do what he does ask of me. The same simple request he made to a couple fishers, a tax collector, and some other random dudes he asks of me..."Follow me." I can put down my nets, let go of the past and start out by just simply going where he goes. Following him wherever he leads....one step at a time trusting him.
I struggle to walk life out well, to live out authentic, transparent adulthood. I'm no where near perfection. But I'm encouraged by the fact that I was never asked to be perfect yet Christ promised he would create perfection in me anyway. In spite of all the times I fail him, fail myself, fail the people around me he still chooses to do life with me. He chose to come here and show us what it looks like to walk out adulthood perfectly then chose to go home to his father where he sent his spirit to do it with us if we just choose to get up and go. What an incredibly gracious, loving, giving, patient God. How humbling he chose me!
So like I said, I'm no expert. I claim no authority over the answer to the complex question over adulthood that has been asked time and time again. The only claim I make is that Christ has all authority in heaven and earth. But I will gladly share what I've learned about this adult club we all have waited so long to join- it will look bumpy and messy a lot of times. It will be hard and not at all what I or you expected other times, BUT you aren't in it alone and Christ lived and died to give us a full life, not an imaginary life. I gladly tell you all this in hopes you are encouraged and if at the very least to say, welcome to the club! I sure hope you choose to join in....there's nothing else on this earth like it!
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10
1 corinthians 13: 8Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love