Grace for the Road....

I recently read a blog entitled; Grace for the Road: Reveling in the places where Mercy meets humanity...I am a traveler by rebellion and so as I write I will cling to those words.

 

I have said before, I call my blog the prodigal daughter's journey for a reason: because on my road home, I have the tendency to run with all my might in the opposite direction.  As a Sojourner, I like to think I am a seeker of truth but in reality I often times am a fleeting fugitive running from the very thing that will set me free. I run far, and I run wide from freedom. Yet it is for freedoms sake Ive been set free and so for Freedom's sake I let go of the chains of oppression!


In my community group at church last year we did life stories. In fact, the whole church did life stories. So in order to equip people (and prepare hearts)  for life stories, our pastors made a video and in that video they said the whole purpose for our stories is to make God the hero of every detail...the good the bad the ugly. I am plenty accustom to life stories, yet this type of story was unfamiliar in many ways. The idea of being purposeful to declare God victor in my story and not just my story being a flooding of details was new and unveiling. I say that to say, way to often the words of my mouth and meditation of my heart are a flooding of thoughts, words, and emotions without purposeful direction. Not anymore, the veil has been removed and God is the intricate hero that makes up every fiber of my story!!!!

 


As the old Hymn goes..."This is my story, this is my song: praising my Savior ALL the day long!"

 

So,  friends, today a log was thrown on the fire! A rekindling of spirit happened and it happened because of 2 old friends I hardly see and conviction of spirit. Ahhh conviction, you are so good to my soul! 

 

Today I had coffee with a friend, a short conversation, and as I listened as my friend shared life with me (one Ive missed out on out of my own rebellious ways) I felt a new sense of gladness and joy for them. My friend is experiencing abundance and I realized (much later) that I've been missing out on abundance! My friend was telling me all about the Jesus I once knew and chosen to abandon...no worry friends, this is only the beginning of today's journey.


My friend finished their story, and asked me for mine. I began to tell me story and as I listened to myself speak I felt distracted and I felt depressed just listening to myself talk. LAME! God bless my friend for not walking out! I told them about how hard life has been, and how different, and how God wasn't meeting me in the ways I expected him to or wanted him to, I talked briefly about the lessons I was learning and the burdens I'd been carrying. (sounds drab doesn't it? yeah I know! not at all appealing and like I said, God BLESS my friend for not walking out) I could feel the weights as if they were tangibly sitting on my shoulder as I continued to speak. However, for the sake of conversation I couldn't keep on the pity train to Loserville forever, so the word "But" came out of my mouth (I didn't know it then but that word came out b/c Jesus was tired of hearing how pathetic I sounded). And that but was the flip of the switch I needed. 

 

Man, God is good. In that moment, God became the Hero of my story again! I began to talk about the ways God had met me, and How he has used the most unexpected ways to LOVE me! And I felt my face physically lift! I felt my spirit lift, I felt the burdens lift- because Christ chose to glorify himself for me! Fast forward to tonight; after dinner with my brother and his wife and my nephew (which was awesome cuz He is 3 and the coolest kid ever....He did a hulk impression that all of chickfila will never forget and he dresses up as yoda/storm trooper like everyday just for fun....I'm super proud!), after babysitting, to an Email I sent a friend where I told my story again!

 

I told both of these friends the same thing, and now I'm telling You! God chose not to love me through my normal friends, or my family, or younglife these past few months; instead He did better (b/c He always does) He has expanded my love bubble! One of the greatest ways God has loved me (and there are MANY)) is through the kids I have at the day school I work at. (And if you know ME, the fact that I work at a daycare may have made your jaw drop......Well pick it up big homie 'cause there's more!) These kids love me despite me being impatient with them or hard on them, they love me when I discipline them, they love me when I'm not in the mood to love them or for them to love me. They love me when they know I'm FURIOUS at them. They just simply love me. They give me hugs or sit on my lap, they hate when I have to leave, they write me letters....some I could do without. I told my friend at coffee, one wrote me a letter calling me kind. I was flabbergasted! Many things I have been called....sassy, entertaining, tolerable (haha) even nice, but kind is one I don't get often. Kind and gentle are words I desire, words I don't deserve, yet have been lavished on me anyways. I don't deserve unconditional love by any being....God or kids, and yet I have received. To say that THIS is a moment were mercy has met humanity, is most certainly true and humbling in ways I never imagined. I am not special, I am not worthy of the type of affection I continue to be shown.


As previously stated, the purpose of my story is to declare God the Hero of it! I am a runner by nature, and up until tonight, I have allowed that to be true of me. I had chosen to be a girl marked by ruin, and yet my father has chosen to pick me out of the muck and place his finest robe on me, give me his ring, and throw me a party EVERY TIME I stop running from something and run back home. Jesus is my knight in shining armor! He sees past the dirt and grime from years of wandering that has hidden my beauty and He has chosen me as wife- to soften, to humble, to love, & to walk with. See the reason my God is the hero of my story is not because He has broken my legs and kept me from running, but because He has given my running direction! He has taken my poor wayfarin' stranger soul, called it his own, and given it purpose... To proclaim God VICTORIOUS and to give good news to the oppressed souls, like my own!

Grace for the Road: Reveling in places where mercy meets humanity (and to whomever came up with that line, I APPLAUD YOU, Sister!)

 

Isaiah 61: 1-3
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,
    for the Lord has anointed me
    to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted
    and to proclaim that captives will be released
    and prisoners will be freed.

He has sent me to tell those who mourn
    that the time of the Lord’s favor has come!
 To all who mourn in Israel,
    he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
    festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
    that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

 


 

 

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