So I'm sitting here and I'm reading my dear friend Kacie Lynn's blog (she is on the world race) and her teammates blogs and I'm reading about how God is doing big amazing things in their lives in Nepal. With each blog I read and as the months go by I cant help but think, I wish I was on the world race (which is somewhat ironic as Kacie Lynn's teammate posted a video in which Kacie Lynn says "don't you wish you were on the world race")... I wish I were doing something with my life that felt important. I wish I were experiencing God in big ways. my next thought was very different...
I began to think about all the commitments I have and i thought about school and Young Life and how I "have" to do all these things and I have all these expectations and responsibilities so clearly I can't go across the world. Then I thought about all the money it would cost to go, and how if I go I would have student loans to pay as well and how would that work? I'm reading these beautiful blogs filled with hope and joy and healing. Like God literally using the hands of my friend and her friends to heal the wounded and sick while simultaneously healing their own hearts; restoring them to this place of honor and making them creatures of blessings anew, daughters/sons of the King, and His most precious beloved-- but where does my mind wander to? skepticism. doubt. fear. the unknown. and I forget the promises he made me.
I will listen to what God the LORD says; he promises peace to his people, his faithful servants
Isaiah 40:10-11 See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power, and he rules with a mighty arm. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart.
Ephesians 5:8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light
The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”
All of psalms 23!
And yet I choose to live in darkness? I am no longer held captive to bondage, I am a child of light. I have been promised whatever my heart desires and it desires God. I want so desperately to see God move that I am choosing to believe that He only moves mountains. Then I am reminded...I am reminded of something Dennis Fuller said in a lesson; he said we go to the mountain top to gain perspective, but the valley is where transformation happens. So whether I am on the top of Mount Everest in India, or the Appalachians in Pigeon Forge TN, the Karoo mountains in South Africa, or the Sierra Madre that runs through most of South America it is the valley I am made to be like him. It is the valley of Murfreesboro Tennessee he has called me to. He has made it clear that when I walk through the valley he is with me.